Captive

by Alvin Xiong

When I woke up yesterday, it initially seemed like it would be a usual day. I didn’t remember any special events planned and I didn’t anticipate anything out of the ordinary. I woke up the same way I usually did. Which was the morning bell. I sleepily waited for it to finish ringing over the course of its five minute alarm and tried to shake myself awake. I mentally prepared myself for the suffering the day would bring and tried to revisit my old memories. It was the only peace I could find anywhere anymore. Little did I know how quickly I was about to lose everything I thought I lost years ago.
I waited for one of the keepers to make their rounds. Either the tall one with gray hair or the shorter one with long hair would arrive. I think they alternated and operated on a timetable, but my usually crisp eyesight’s deteriorated to the point where I can’t distinguish their faces anymore. I had no idea their routine was but they consistently did their job. I honestly couldn’t really judge or compare their treatment to anything though. Straightforward. Just the necessities. I wonder what kept them going, what their incentive was to keep revisiting me. Or why they kept me here at all. Regardless, one of them would bring out a bucket of food to commence the day. Herring, Salmon, Mackerel or Squid. Whatever it was, it was never options that plagued me. It was the amount of food, and by the end of the day my appetite would still be unquelled. The hunger was ten times worse when I was younger. Now it wasn’t as grim because my appetites started to dry up anyways. After the first meal, it would be training. Training for the shows. Shows, where I would perform all sorts of tricks for the visitors. Leaping out of the water and flipping around for their enjoyment while they all screamed in delight.
But the keepers never came. The entire morning, I paced around in the pen anticipating their arrival. They had to arrive, they’d never missed a single day prior to this. Even if the Zoo was closed or the weather was dangerous, they'd continue the schedule as usual. I couldn't ignore their absence so I tried to distract myself and speed time up until they appeared. Nevertheless, afternoon came and gave way to evening. I watched as the sky darkened and the clouds shifted around, playing their own game. For a while all I did was stare up at the gray sky. Just me and the open sky. It rained for a bit and I let the raindrops cover me, pretending that this was a real ocean storm and I was braving it. Then, suddenly the walls seemed to converge inwards, getting tighter and tighter. To distract myself I began swimming in circles, Occasionally gnawing my teeth on the concrete sides of the tank to the point where I could taste blood. It was an awful habit, but there was nothing else to do except face the three blank walls and one glass
wall that encircled me. My teeth constantly ached as a result of my habit, and the resulting open sores on my gums made it immensely painful whenever I ate. I started gripping the walls with my teeth, flooding my mouth with blood and staining the water around me black. I kept at it until I couldn't bear the pain anymore. The panic surged into me. I pulled back from the wall, the pain rushing to my head in waves and blacked out.
I woke up bobbing at the surface, hanging on by a thread. It was already dark overhead me but I could still make out the more recognizable additions to my prison. For example, The artificial tree meant to instill a bit more life to my otherwise desolate jail. I don't think the visitors knew it was fake though. Not that it would change anything. I repeatedly tried to leap over the barrier to catch a glimpse of the boardwalk, situated on top of the enclosure’s border. It took many attempts until l I finally got high enough to see over the edge. I didn't see a boardwalk packed with visitors, instead I saw the most beautiful sunset ever. Vibrant and captivating colors smacked across the horizon. Then the second passed and I tumbled back into the water.
The sunset made me think back to the simple beauty of my old life when I lived in the wild. To think I was born granted with complete freedom and the ability to do whatever I wanted. I would give anything to return.
I remember hunting with my pod. We’d first scout our prey from afar. Sometimes if we were lucky, they would be camping on large patches of floating ice. Lazily heating themselves up by soaking up the sun's rays. The issue was, We couldn’t reach them so long as they sat on the solid ice, so we had to figure out a way to knock them down into the water. To accomplish this, we would all swim in the direction of the ice rapidly. Then we would stop abruptly, a bit away from their floe. The sudden braking would cause the wave to rip towards their platform. It would rip over the ice and they would slide off helplessly, unable to obtain any grip. Now I become the prey, and I let the sleep wash over me.
That was yesterday. Today I woke up and at first I thought it was still dark. Then, I looked up and there seemed to be an opaque covering over my entire tank. A covering of sorts. Dark marks dotted the border of it indicating they were weights meant to hold the tarp down.